This morning, my husband and I were discussing a roadside
memorial we had seen. He thought it
might be connected to a story in the local news lately, and talked about how
the news casters had described the murder as “gruesome”. And then he asked the question which started
my mental gears in motion: “Is any death not gruesome?” I answered, “Yes, dying in your sleep is
quite peaceful.” He came back with, “But
isn’t that still gruesome?” My response:
“Define gruesome.”
This
brings me to this moment now. I took the
time to look up the definition of “gruesome,” a word I hear frequently in the
news and elsewhere. According to my
favorite reference (and one of my top five most visited websites)
dictionary.com, gruesome is defined as: 1) causing great horror; horribly
repugnant, grisly; 2) full of or causing problems.
1)
Depending on the circumstances and the family and friends affected, you can
easily define death as “causing great horror,” “horribly repugnant,” and even
“grisly.” [As an aside (because I am
just that way), I looked up “grisly”: 1) causing a shudder or feeling of
horror; 2) formidable; grim.]
Personally, I can see death as a welcome respite, a long sought-after
friend, for certain cases, but I understand how others can see death as
unwelcome, horrible, and feared, regardless of the circumstances surrounding
the end of life. The subject of death
hits different people in distinct ways, but that is a subject for another post.
2)
Every death is potentially “full of or causing problems.” No matter how much the individual or family
has prepared for the eventuality of death, there always seems to be that one
more thing that didn’t get done. But
even then, there is the subject of grief that must be dealt with. No matter how much you have expected it, even
waited for it, at the end, when it finally happens, the grief is real. It must be dealt with. It brings its own set of problems.
My
conclusion: yes, I can concede that every death is gruesome in one way or
another. This discussion just
illustrates the ideal that you really do learn something every day—especially
if you seek out that learning and allow yourself to absorb the new information.
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