I fully encourage the dispelling of any myth, but especially stereotypes and other myths harmful to people. Murray Lipp wrote an excellent article dispelling what he defines as, "ten of the most problematic myths and stereotypes which play a role in the mischaracterization and dehumanization of gay men in the U.S.A."
1) "Gay Men are All Feminine"
That would be as bad as believing that all heterosexual women are feminine, all heterosexual males are masculine, or that all gay women are masculine.
2) "Gay Men are Into Fashion..."
Do we really have to underline (again) that humans are diverse? Are all women into fashion? Are all men into football? The answers, of course, are "no" to both questions.
3) "Gay Men are Attracted to All Men, and Can't Control Their Desires"
That would insinuate that heterosexual males are attracted to all women and cannot control their desires. Most humans are capable of being attracted to a person and not uncontrollably jump into bed with that person. Most humans find certain humans attractive while finding others unattractive.
4) "Gay Men are Promiscuous and Obsessed With Sex"
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Ok, back to seriousness. Many men are "promiscuous and obsessed with sex." Then again, many women are just as promiscuous and obsessed with sex. This promiscuity and obsession tells more about the character of the individual than it does the sexual preferences of the individual.
On that note, I would like to point the reader to another blog which captures this idea even better than I do: Bisexual News and Views pay particular attention to the blogs entitled "We Do Exist" and "My Intro".
5) "Gay Men Focus on Anal Sex and Mimic Male/Female Roles"
Some might, but one can hardly believe that all do. Some male/female couples mimic opposite male/female roles. If this is true (which it is), why would you believe that all male/male couples always follow the same sexual script all the time? There is a reason stereotypes are ridiculous and should be dispelled at all costs.
6) "HIV/AIDS is Primarily a Disease Among Gay Men"
I highly suggest you research this disease a little further. The CDC is a good place to start.
7) "Gay Men are Not Relationship Oriented"
Some men aren't; some women aren't. Again, this has more to say about the character of the individual than the sexual orientation of the individual.
Many same-sex couples have longer lasting, more successful (i.e.: happier) relationships than many of the more publicized heterosexual couples (Brittany Spears...Kardashian...anyone?).
8) "Male Homosexuality is Caused By...."
In fairness, the text after the ellipses (above) could be any drabble and still be untrue.
9) "Gay Men Can't Be Trusted Around Male Children"
Sigh. This is only true if the INDIVIDUAL has shown himself to be untrustworthy around children. For that matter, the individual could be male or female, gay or heterosexual. Here again, this has more to do with the personality of the individual than it does the fact he or she is homosexual or heterosexual.
10) "Two Gay Men as a Couple Can't Raise Healthy, Happy Children"
Actually, I have written several essays on the general subject that homosexual couples have no disadvantages when compared to heterosexual couples when raising their children. In fact, it is often the case that for the same reasons that some homosexual couples are happier, more successful and stay together longer than some heterosexual couples, these parents make better parents than the unhappy heterosexual couple who stays together "for the children."
That's the way I understand it
Laura
Thursday, June 20, 2013
Wednesday, June 19, 2013
Fibro-My-(MF)-Algia
Being a sufferer of fibromyalgia, I was encouraged by the headline "Fibromyalgia Is Not All In Your Head, New Research Confirms"
I have suffered from Fibro for many years, and I absolutely hate it! It is very painful, and makes me irritable (among other things). It comes and goes, and is not consistent with things like exercise and stress. Contrary to popular belief, exercise does not always make it better (many times the opposite), and stress does not always make it worse.
I really was beginning to admit to myself that the fibro was psychosomatic--all in my head.
VINDICATION! :D It's really *not* all in my head
I have suffered from Fibro for many years, and I absolutely hate it! It is very painful, and makes me irritable (among other things). It comes and goes, and is not consistent with things like exercise and stress. Contrary to popular belief, exercise does not always make it better (many times the opposite), and stress does not always make it worse.
I really was beginning to admit to myself that the fibro was psychosomatic--all in my head.
VINDICATION! :D It's really *not* all in my head
Friday, June 14, 2013
Diagnoses
As a young child, our middle son (now 11) was diagnosed with ADHD, anxiety, and pervasive development disorder. First, I will address my current assessment of these diagnoses.
For the ADHD (APA, 2000: 92): I do not believe he currently displays enough signs to be diagnosed with ADHD at this time. If he was left to his own devices (i.e.: if no one ever told him to sit down and stop running around) he would display many if not all of the diagnostic criteria. That being said, practically any kid would be diagnosed with ADHD if left to his or her own devices in this way. Our 11 year old shows a few of the criteria, even with parental supervision, but I do not believe he shows enough for a diagnosis and consequent "required" medication.
Anxiety (APA, 2000: 476): I do not believe he currently displays enough signs to be diagnosed with Anxiety of any type. I believe any anxiety and worry he might feel is normal and warranted for the environment. I believe everyone is entitled to a little anxiety here and there, and that it can even save your life on occasion.
Pervasive Development Disorder (APA, 2000: 75, 84): The jury is still out on this one. Not being a professional, I cannot be certain of all of the idiosyncrasies. I would not have a problem with a professional continuing this diagnosis or even that of Autism (low on the scale).
That being said, based on these diagnoses our son has been given an Individualized Educational Program (IEP) in school. The latest one specifies that he "demonstrated significantly below average academic skills in reading, writing, math, and social-behavioral skills" (IEP 3/4/2013) I have to wonder if this statement is based more on his previous diagnoses or because of actual current events.
When I take him into the kitchen and begin to work with him on mathematics or reading, he struggles, but he gains insight into the concept. In my opinion, all he has to do is focus on the task at hand. I (the teacher) just have to pay attention to what he is doing in relation to what he is supposed to be doing. In my opinion, the only reason he fell behind in his studies is because a teacher at school has so many (17 or so) other students who also need attention; the teacher at school doesn't have the time to devote the needed attention to each student individually.
Given his work when he moved back in with us in January, and his work today at the kitchen table, I can see marked improvement in both areas of mathematics and reading. I lament that his math progressed at school through multiplication and a bare minimum of division at an excruciatingly slow pace. At home, he shows he is capable of division, and we are moving on to more difficult concepts. From what I saw at school, they spent about three months on multiplication; at home, he showed an understanding within a week. Maybe it's my teaching style, more likely it's because I was able to focus on his needs.
Today, we worked on making graphs from tables, and tables from graphs.
In January, he showed that he was "proficient in grammar/usage skills at the Grade 2 level...did not show proficiency in any Grade 3 Reading areas" (IEP 3/4/2013). Today, he is reading "Voyager Passport D" which I believe is grade level 3 reading material, and "Wild About Snakes: Cobras" and "Scorpion vs. Tarantula", both informative books, give or take grade level 4 reading. To me, this is substantive progress in the span of a few months!
Again, this is probably more because of my ability to focus the learner and my instruction, as opposed to my superior teaching ability.
The underlying question with all of this: were the previous (and still technically valid) diagnoses ever truly valid? Did he "grow out" of them? Did the disabilities correct themselves because of our (my husband's and mine) superior parenting skills?
Leaving more questions than answers, that's how I understand things.
Laura
APA (2000) Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders: Fourth Edition: Text Revision. Arlington, VA: American Psychiatric Association
For the ADHD (APA, 2000: 92): I do not believe he currently displays enough signs to be diagnosed with ADHD at this time. If he was left to his own devices (i.e.: if no one ever told him to sit down and stop running around) he would display many if not all of the diagnostic criteria. That being said, practically any kid would be diagnosed with ADHD if left to his or her own devices in this way. Our 11 year old shows a few of the criteria, even with parental supervision, but I do not believe he shows enough for a diagnosis and consequent "required" medication.
Anxiety (APA, 2000: 476): I do not believe he currently displays enough signs to be diagnosed with Anxiety of any type. I believe any anxiety and worry he might feel is normal and warranted for the environment. I believe everyone is entitled to a little anxiety here and there, and that it can even save your life on occasion.
Pervasive Development Disorder (APA, 2000: 75, 84): The jury is still out on this one. Not being a professional, I cannot be certain of all of the idiosyncrasies. I would not have a problem with a professional continuing this diagnosis or even that of Autism (low on the scale).
That being said, based on these diagnoses our son has been given an Individualized Educational Program (IEP) in school. The latest one specifies that he "demonstrated significantly below average academic skills in reading, writing, math, and social-behavioral skills" (IEP 3/4/2013) I have to wonder if this statement is based more on his previous diagnoses or because of actual current events.
When I take him into the kitchen and begin to work with him on mathematics or reading, he struggles, but he gains insight into the concept. In my opinion, all he has to do is focus on the task at hand. I (the teacher) just have to pay attention to what he is doing in relation to what he is supposed to be doing. In my opinion, the only reason he fell behind in his studies is because a teacher at school has so many (17 or so) other students who also need attention; the teacher at school doesn't have the time to devote the needed attention to each student individually.
Given his work when he moved back in with us in January, and his work today at the kitchen table, I can see marked improvement in both areas of mathematics and reading. I lament that his math progressed at school through multiplication and a bare minimum of division at an excruciatingly slow pace. At home, he shows he is capable of division, and we are moving on to more difficult concepts. From what I saw at school, they spent about three months on multiplication; at home, he showed an understanding within a week. Maybe it's my teaching style, more likely it's because I was able to focus on his needs.
Today, we worked on making graphs from tables, and tables from graphs.
In January, he showed that he was "proficient in grammar/usage skills at the Grade 2 level...did not show proficiency in any Grade 3 Reading areas" (IEP 3/4/2013). Today, he is reading "Voyager Passport D" which I believe is grade level 3 reading material, and "Wild About Snakes: Cobras" and "Scorpion vs. Tarantula", both informative books, give or take grade level 4 reading. To me, this is substantive progress in the span of a few months!
Again, this is probably more because of my ability to focus the learner and my instruction, as opposed to my superior teaching ability.
The underlying question with all of this: were the previous (and still technically valid) diagnoses ever truly valid? Did he "grow out" of them? Did the disabilities correct themselves because of our (my husband's and mine) superior parenting skills?
Leaving more questions than answers, that's how I understand things.
Laura
APA (2000) Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders: Fourth Edition: Text Revision. Arlington, VA: American Psychiatric Association
Wednesday, June 12, 2013
Trans in School
I have just a few moments to post right now, but I wanted to add my two cents to this story. As part of my credo of treating everyone with the respect they deserve because they belong to the human race, I say the school should recognize Nicole as a female and allow her to participate in all the female things she wishes to participate in...specifically using the girls' bathroom in this case.
A small caveat here: consistency needs to be the word of the day. I understand there exist certain unscrupulous persons who would use the gender identity tag to manipulate the rules such as in the forum of sports. A person born with male genitals might wish to say he is female in order to gain access to the women's baseball (or softball) team for the express purpose of winning more games. This person would then change his mind during football season in order to play as a man on the football team. This type of behavior undermines the very nature of those people who truly feel trapped in the body of the opposite gender.
As with all unethical behavior, it should be strongly discouraged, and considered a crime if we can get that into law somehow. It is not enough to pass a law, though; the enforcement of the law is often more difficult to pass than the law itself.
Sigh.
Until the entire world can live side-by-side, allowing differences and even encouraging differences...that is how I understand it.
Laura
A small caveat here: consistency needs to be the word of the day. I understand there exist certain unscrupulous persons who would use the gender identity tag to manipulate the rules such as in the forum of sports. A person born with male genitals might wish to say he is female in order to gain access to the women's baseball (or softball) team for the express purpose of winning more games. This person would then change his mind during football season in order to play as a man on the football team. This type of behavior undermines the very nature of those people who truly feel trapped in the body of the opposite gender.
As with all unethical behavior, it should be strongly discouraged, and considered a crime if we can get that into law somehow. It is not enough to pass a law, though; the enforcement of the law is often more difficult to pass than the law itself.
Sigh.
Until the entire world can live side-by-side, allowing differences and even encouraging differences...that is how I understand it.
Laura
Saturday, June 8, 2013
Portrait Display
One of our favorite places to hang out here in Vegas is The Center:
https://www.facebook.com/TheCenterLV
http://thecenterlv.com/
Which hosts our favorite coffee/ sandwich/ vegan shop:
https://www.facebook.com/bronzecafelv
Currently, The Center is also playing host to a display of portraits spearheaded by Linda:
https://www.facebook.com/events/329634063832065/
Trust me, this display is WAY better in person. I highly suggest going to check it out if you happen to be in the area. It will only be available until June 16. Also, there will be a "Meet & Greet" with Linda on June 12 at The Center from 6-8 p.m. If you can make it, come on down and tell her how great this project really is. As an added bonus, my husband and I will attend the Meet & Greet :)
Our picture (see above) will be displayed by Monday evening (June 10).
https://www.facebook.com/TheCenterLV
http://thecenterlv.com/
Which hosts our favorite coffee/ sandwich/ vegan shop:
https://www.facebook.com/bronzecafelv
Currently, The Center is also playing host to a display of portraits spearheaded by Linda:
https://www.facebook.com/events/329634063832065/
Trust me, this display is WAY better in person. I highly suggest going to check it out if you happen to be in the area. It will only be available until June 16. Also, there will be a "Meet & Greet" with Linda on June 12 at The Center from 6-8 p.m. If you can make it, come on down and tell her how great this project really is. As an added bonus, my husband and I will attend the Meet & Greet :)
Our picture (see above) will be displayed by Monday evening (June 10).
Wednesday, June 5, 2013
Graduation decor
This article is inspired by this article: http://shine.yahoo.com/parenting/high-school-senior-denied-diploma-for-wearing-when-did-graduation-become-a-battleground--192900808.html
My senior year of high school (1994-95), my nickname was Chicken. This was a bit of a joke that I started, but soon became wide-spread. When I walked across the stage to receive my diploma, the entire graduating class and half of the people in the audience yelled out the name "Chicken!" in a congratulatory cheer. For someone who thinks of herself as "Merelyme Noone," this was a feat bordering on impossible.
Cutting the story short, when I was preparing for graduation, I intended on placing a small stuffed animal chicken on top of my mortarboard as a nod to this chosen moniker. I was politely (but firmly) asked to remove it. I complied.
This illustrates the fact that I understand the desire for Ms. Ramer to portray an important part of her life during such a milestone as graduation. I also understand the desire for the high school to keep the uniform of the day just that: uniform.
When Ms. Ramer made clear her intention to sport the eagle feather, the headmaster made it clear she was to refrain from doing so. Ms. Ramer decided her "spiritual and cultural symbol of pride" was more authoritative in this situation than the headmaster of the school from which she was earning a commendation.
In this situation, I would have advised the school to disallow Ms. Ramer from walking with the rest of her class, but to not fine her, nor to hold her diploma for ransom.
In my humble opinion, high schools should be used to antics of seniors by now. They should be the adults in the situation and take control as if they actually are the adults in control. Ms. Ramer did not do anything really out of control, nor did she do anything illegal or disruptive. If her actions are too disruptive to be allowed to walk with the rest of the class, no other action should be necessary.
Just how I understand things,
Laura
My senior year of high school (1994-95), my nickname was Chicken. This was a bit of a joke that I started, but soon became wide-spread. When I walked across the stage to receive my diploma, the entire graduating class and half of the people in the audience yelled out the name "Chicken!" in a congratulatory cheer. For someone who thinks of herself as "Merelyme Noone," this was a feat bordering on impossible.
Cutting the story short, when I was preparing for graduation, I intended on placing a small stuffed animal chicken on top of my mortarboard as a nod to this chosen moniker. I was politely (but firmly) asked to remove it. I complied.
This illustrates the fact that I understand the desire for Ms. Ramer to portray an important part of her life during such a milestone as graduation. I also understand the desire for the high school to keep the uniform of the day just that: uniform.
When Ms. Ramer made clear her intention to sport the eagle feather, the headmaster made it clear she was to refrain from doing so. Ms. Ramer decided her "spiritual and cultural symbol of pride" was more authoritative in this situation than the headmaster of the school from which she was earning a commendation.
In this situation, I would have advised the school to disallow Ms. Ramer from walking with the rest of her class, but to not fine her, nor to hold her diploma for ransom.
In my humble opinion, high schools should be used to antics of seniors by now. They should be the adults in the situation and take control as if they actually are the adults in control. Ms. Ramer did not do anything really out of control, nor did she do anything illegal or disruptive. If her actions are too disruptive to be allowed to walk with the rest of the class, no other action should be necessary.
Just how I understand things,
Laura
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