Saturday, January 12, 2013

Gruesome


                This morning, my husband and I were discussing a roadside memorial we had seen.  He thought it might be connected to a story in the local news lately, and talked about how the news casters had described the murder as “gruesome”.  And then he asked the question which started my mental gears in motion: “Is any death not gruesome?”  I answered, “Yes, dying in your sleep is quite peaceful.”  He came back with, “But isn’t that still gruesome?”  My response: “Define gruesome.”
                This brings me to this moment now.  I took the time to look up the definition of “gruesome,” a word I hear frequently in the news and elsewhere.  According to my favorite reference (and one of my top five most visited websites) dictionary.com, gruesome is defined as: 1) causing great horror; horribly repugnant, grisly; 2) full of or causing problems.
                1) Depending on the circumstances and the family and friends affected, you can easily define death as “causing great horror,” “horribly repugnant,” and even “grisly.”  [As an aside (because I am just that way), I looked up “grisly”: 1) causing a shudder or feeling of horror; 2) formidable; grim.]  Personally, I can see death as a welcome respite, a long sought-after friend, for certain cases, but I understand how others can see death as unwelcome, horrible, and feared, regardless of the circumstances surrounding the end of life.  The subject of death hits different people in distinct ways, but that is a subject for another post.
                2) Every death is potentially “full of or causing problems.”  No matter how much the individual or family has prepared for the eventuality of death, there always seems to be that one more thing that didn’t get done.  But even then, there is the subject of grief that must be dealt with.  No matter how much you have expected it, even waited for it, at the end, when it finally happens, the grief is real.  It must be dealt with.  It brings its own set of problems.
                My conclusion: yes, I can concede that every death is gruesome in one way or another.  This discussion just illustrates the ideal that you really do learn something every day—especially if you seek out that learning and allow yourself to absorb the new information.

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