Sexting, FWB, Adultery...

My Discussion Board topic for one of my classes this week is :Topic:  Is "sexting", "hooking-up", "friends with benefits", and "cyberadultery" becoming culturally acceptable?  If yes, what are the short-term dangers and what are the long-term effects.  If you disagree, why not?

Because this is such an important topic, I decided to post it here for all of you to know exactly how I feel:

For those with whom I associate, "sexting" is not acceptable.  It is seen as a crude form of communication. If people wish to speak sexually with each other, they should do so in person...or at the very least, over the phone so you can hear the other's voice. 

"Hooking-up" is a quick way to have anonymous sex, but also a quick way to spread disease, and invite a host of other undesirables into your life (such as scorn, persecution, and in some cases, incarceration).

"Friends with benefits" is a good way to ruin a friendship. One of you is getting the short end of the stick.  And what happens when you find someone you wish to have a "real" relationship with?  Does your friend get jealous?  Does your friend get dumped without someone if nir own to have benefits with?  Does your new paramour get jealous of your continuing relationship with your friend, even if you no longer share benefits together?

"Cyber adultery", as with any kind of adultery, is completely unacceptable.  If you have committed to someone, that person deserves your full commitment.  If you feel you must cheat for whatever reason you have used to justify the cheating, then you and your committed partner need to have a heart-to-heart discussion and really figure out the underlying issues, and how to work them out.  If, after a real discussion, you decide to open your relationship, that is not cheating.  If you decide to end your commitment, that is not cheating.  If you decide you want to remain committed in a closed relationship--DO NOT cheat!

Contrary to popular belief, you CAN choose with whom you fall in love.  Additionally, once you fall in love, you have full control over what you do with that love.  Adultery is simply not acceptable behavior.

The short-term dangers of the above behavior is hurt feelings, loss of trust (of yourself and from others), and the knowledge that you have sold yourself short and cheapened yourself.  The long-term effects can include a broken marriage (along with spousal support and/ or child support as appropriate), a series of short relationships (depending on how long you continue this destructive behavior), and a feeling of loneliness and depression.

All of that taken into account, it is important to remember that sending a loving (sometimes even sexy) text to your long-term, committed partner can be a good thing...but keep the explicit words and pictures private.  Nothing sent via text and email is completely private.

That is how I understand things,
Laura