"Heart of a Designer"

***WARNING***
This review is not likely to elicit the same gracious response from Arlene Krieger as was seen earlier from Dr. Haley.

"Heart of a Designer" is a self-published tale by Arlene Krieger.  Billed as a romantic comedy, Ms. Krieger seems to have asked her friends for a few (operative word: few) words of support for her efforts.

"Amanda Stoddard, Media Specialist" writes, "A history of a designer fashion industry.  This is a story that will make you laugh, cry and cheer for the underdog.  The best and funniest read ever,"

Hm.  I would think that a "Media Specialist" would pen a better supportive statement.  First of all, this is not a "history of a designer fashion industry," it's not even a history of a particular designer within that industry.  It is a description of just over a year in the life of one burgeoning clothing line.  Further, it is not clear that the designer in question is the main character.  I cannot definitively say whether the main character is the designer or her daughter-in-law-salesperson.

Lastly (on this point), I neither laughed, cried, nor cheered for the underdog all throughout this book.

"Holly Harris, Food Critic" also wrote a few words for Krieger.  However, I would like to interrupt the flow of review here to ask the first question that comes to my mind, "What does a 'Food Critic' know about a book supposedly about the fashion industry?"  I have no problem with Holly Harris supporting her friend if she truly finds this book worth supporting, but to add her profession adds no credence to her words.  In fact, in my eyes at least, knowing her day job takes away from her message.

Back on track, Harris writes, "I felt like I was wathcing a great funny, romantic movie.  This book is a page turner"

Where to begin?  I can start with "wathcing" being a precursor for all the typos, spelling errors, and misuse of wording found throughout the book.  Also, how can Harris feel as if she is watching a movie?  The story is nowhere near descriptive enough.  On the count of it being a "page turner", I have to disagree.

Now on to my own thoughts concerning the book:
I will gloss over the formatting issues starting with page one.  I will only mention that it appears Krieger typed this up as a Word document, and converted it into book form without adapting the formatting.  As unfortunate as that is (because of the spacing issues, mostly) I understand the desire to see your words in print, and not worrying about the "small details".

My first grievance with the story is that it is billed as a romantic comedy.  As I mentioned earlier, I didn't find it particularly funny.  In fact, I don't remember a single line that I actually laughed about.  As for the romance part, I have a bone to pick on that front.  This story is not romantic, it is adulterous!  Practically every major character in the story is having an affair.

Roberta has an affair with Antonio whose wife Katherine is having an affair with the butcher.  Meanwhile, Roberta's husband, John is messing around with anything in a skirt, and her son Clark is having an affair, though it is never revealed with whom.

That is not my idea of romance.  Back in the day, I read my share (and then some) of romantic novels in the style of Harlequin and Signet.  I know what a romance novel looks, feels, and smells like.  This is not it.

More on the story itself: The daydreams by Louise are intrusive and do not add to the story at all.  Plus, the visions of Louise and Roberta about the "ghost of seventh avenue," (pg. 18) are just silly, and are never fully explained.

The last point I will address is Krieger's philosophy on parenthood as displayed by Louise and Jake.  On the one hand, Izzy is allowed to run wild and is bribed to behave during special occasions, and on the other hand, he is expected to expertly play a concert piano.  Keep in mind, this character is only three years old at the beginning of the story.

I have written enough against this book, I won't bring up the reprehensible attitude toward any person larger than a size six and not completely manicured at Elizabeth Arden, or Mid-Westerners, for that matter.

This kitschy account is not worth your money to buy it, or your time to read it.

That's the way I understand it,
Laura